Dear Graham, your landLORDSHIP

Hello, I do not know your last name, but I shall give you mine as I have been paying you 200 a month for a share of a room we are renting from you with Carlos.

You think you know who I am. A poor sick lazy cunt. Yes that is the way you saw me that day you insisted checking if the radiator was on and window was open. I apologised for that and am still deeply sorry. When we moved here I was very sick. In fact it was shortly after I was released from hospital. From a Broadgreen Hospital where I was dragged, HANDcuffed and humilliated and medicated and beaten. I think the kicking came first. Before the hospital, but I really really don’t remember much as I was drugged robbed - my passport was stolen and a lot of other stuff. I became an animal in pain. So called friends turned away.

They diagnosed me as burned and scatterd. DR. Takachichich gave me a choice of two pills. The red one and quietopeen. He recommended the blue one. Dr. Malek just sat there QUIET and uncomfortable. I wondered if they are testing quietopeen on him. Then they said Bi-Polar. of course, my father hanged himself without saying cheeriooou when I was 11. I did not go to the funeral because I fainted at school that day.  I loved him. He was 37 and beat us all. I thought that s how earthligh adults dealt with what for me at that time still felt like a beautiful thing, life… from the age of 12 or 13 all I wanted to do is not to be. Hamlet made sense to me. Stefan Zweig even. All the Berrymen and ann Sextons. YES, I’ve been her kind too. I ve been so many kinds, that bi polar wasn’t a new label. My philosophy in life is @call me anything - kurva, svina, pica, darling, love, an aweful person… just as long as I can sing. I know you don t care, why should you. Where is the profit? How are you benefiting from all this ‘’queue in the violins crap’’, right?

Lets go to the beginnig. To our first meeting. When we came to move into the room. I said hello and sat down on a sofa. You were lying comfortably on our future bed with your shoes on and did not bother to get up until Carlos entered.

Next tme I saw you this happened:  So, I am sleeping, resting, trying to forget the hospital’s hospitality…. around 8am Crlos puts radiators on for me but he also puts a lot of cologne on before coming to kiss me bye. The perfume was so strong I felt dizzy, I thought I know not to open the window when the heating is on. But the smell was toooo strong so I thought I ll open the window for 5 min. That s when you came knocking and gave a lecture as I stood in my nighty and you in your leather shoes waiting for your Landrover to carry you back to London. The note you put on the noticeboard in the entrance, about urging tennants to consider enviroment, well, yes, I know it was meant for me and I took on board my big mistake. I am still deeply sorry that I cost you 10 min of heat while nearly unopenable window was open.

I cycle everywhere, mostly to the my studio and back. It used to be in the Invisible Wind Factory but I felt too visible there. And the wind smelled of a factory, just not Andy Warhol kind of factory. Now I have a studio somewhere even more invisible. Last year we nearly moved out of here. After all the Stewarts, and Babach and James and ROB! the common thief, Niel the HalfAfrikan it was time. However Carlos broke his femur cycling to work. He has two jobs poor guy and he loves his volleyball one and he was so down from this break and the pain and how it happened on wet leaves I a park, where he was shivering for 40min before ambulance found him. I had a work commitment at that time in belfast but flew right here to take care of him. Then we nearly moved to a new house and lockdown happened.

Now you rented the room A, we are in B to Michal and Matthew. good luck with them. It is obvious they are here to push us, especially me, the lazy, stupid, easterneuropean vindictive woman, cunt out.

Well, as soon as I recover from Princess von Krapkowic rude awakening we shall be off.

Thanks again for providing us with a very reasonable rent £400 a month everything included for a room which I genuinly love. In a flat where I now feel under attack. In a house outside which prostitutes sell their everything. In a time of Corona virus pandemic you rented the room b in a shared flat to a guy and his new love interest arriving from Poland to self isolate in the room. Just informing you that he also uses your kitchen with out plates, and all that stuff one needs for cooking and eating. Were we meant to self isolate also? I don’t know. It must have been the devil himself eith his now goldenhaired toyboy

I wish you three all the best.

No hard feelings, right?

I am walking away

We are walking away